Moments of Joy (Moments to Remember) by Ysa Arcangel

Author:Ysa Arcangel
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: Pronoun
Published: 2017-04-25T04:00:00+00:00

My heart sank as I looked at him driving away from the window. I had never wanted to feel anything like this for someone again. I hated having these feelings of longing, aching, and caring for someone I barely knew.

For a moment, I had the maddest urge to watch him as he disappeared into the horizon before my brain kicked in and I remembered that it was probably not something I should be doing.

I could feel myself getting weaker and weaker. I’d be lying if I said that I hadn’t spent most of the next few minutes thinking about Ivo. I knew I shouldn’t spend so much time fretting about this, but I couldn’t help it. I really wished I didn’t have to feel like I did, worrying too damn much about things I had no control over. It was part of the reason I was so good at my job because I was capable of just advising but always being able to detach myself from the situation.

I grabbed my old tattered journal and started writing. This journal has been with me since college. I never want to trade it for anything new. It holds memories of my past and my present. It will tell it to me in the future when I lost those memories.

Dear Journal,

Something strange definitely happened to me. I never would have thought that our nights of pleasure would turn into something I feared would happen. I knew how much this heart wants to love again, but I have a robber in my head stealing my memory. Why must I indulge myself into something that I would forget eventually? Why should I drag someone into this miserable life with me? When my mind finally quit remembering, my brothers would send me to the center, and I’d be with Mom and Gran. That simple. No one had to suffer. I didn’t want to be a burden to anyone. I couldn’t be selfish. I didn’t want to be selfish, but I wanted to be happy. I missed being happy. I missed Ivo.

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